Did your mom ever use soap on your mouth and vocabulary? (Now, I’ve heard that soap is not a chemically healthy solution!) So what is?
Recently, I was asked to write about what to do when children use foul language. There are many levels of language. Some consider “stupid” and “shut up” as disrespectful to others and thus foul. Others do not. And then, there is some language that is considered foul by pretty much everyone – even if the parents use those words themselves. First step to resolving this situation: define your family’s word boundaries and model self-control with your words.
Second step: determine the source of the language. My darling little curly haired 4 year old picked up a mild word from watching one of the most family-friendly series ever. The surprise that hit my husband and me when she used it correctly with the right tone of voice and inflection, left us laughing once we had discovered the source (once we were not in her presence.) We went back to Step One and explained that was not our word. One way we defined was by saying that if mommy and daddy don’t say those words that she shouldn’t either. That’s a pretty tough standard. Time to take stock of ourselves: Can we make that statement today no matter the age of our children?
The next thing we told her was that some words may not be bad words, but they are not kid words. As they get older, we can explain that some words don’t fit the decorum of the classroom, court room, etc.; yet are not bad words. This is the beginning of helping our children develop a filter for their mouths. (It is a God gift whether we like it or not. He tells us to not allow unclean things to proceed out of our mouths. It’s hard work to develop a filter for ourselves as well as our children. It’s also a form of self-control; another great gift for our children and ourselves.)
If the child continues to use the words by choice, again, determine the source of his/her exposure and change it. I think I can safely say that the video, music, or friend source is not child appropriate and more than bad vocabulary, most likely is exposing them to other inappropriate information.
I know many a believer who wishes they could stop using profanity yet is unable to control that tongue. I’m sure they would ask their parent to go back and give them that gift if they could. Let’s pre-empt that need before it becomes a problem. For more guidance on our use of words, check out my website by following this link.
#filter #modelgreatbehavior #continuetogrownomatteryourage